I know I would truly hate being a hospital. Not being able to go on my walks or having privacy or doing my artwork would be awful. Or even being able to cut my own hair. Even in my darkest moments, I have been able to hold on to these things. I just can't imagine life without them.

But there's a part of me that wants to be taken "out of the system" for awhile, and for the most selfish reason. I'm tired of trying to fit in and reign in the eccentricities all the time. Like, I want to be able to tic without being embarrassed. I want to be able to allow my brain to run off the rails without someone whispering to me "Did you take your medicine?" I want the freedom to be wild without facing a lot of consequences. Consequences keep me feeling pinned in and unnatural all the time.