Dear T,
I am doing okay. I am going to take D out to see the movie, Lincoln, because she loves history and I've heard the movie is good! The blood doctor is supposed to call either Monday or Tuesday, and my PCP said they will get me in within two weeks. I don't now what it is, but I know since the beginning of September over a year ago, I haven't felt right physically. I had to take off from work because of being triggered, but also because my brain wouldn't function as well and my memory was shot. When I took my therapy vacation in May or so, I was in so much physical (and mental) pain that I seriously could hardly walk. I then went to a rheumatologist who said it might be fibromyalgia, which is psychosomatic. I know I was stressed and I believe that cortisol that is released when one is stressed causes all of the inflammation. Since then, on and off, I've felt kind of the same, but no where near the intensity. I went to the doctor then, and my platelets were high in the middle of that. Now I have joint and muscular pain, and my elbows really hurt lately. I don't really know what is wrong, but I think fibromyalgia or rheumatoid arthritis are possibilities if I pair the labs with how I feel. It could be something else, though, too. That being said, I'm not letting all of this unground me, when I first got the labs it was kind of scary, but now I'm okay. I have a difficult time mentally and physically knowing what is real or what is just perceived by me?
Lately, my mind/organizational skills have been nil. I have relied on my H to help me because I can't remember much of anything. I don't know what to think. I need to keep myself calm and reduce any stressors right now because I know, whatever it is, that stress makes me feel physically worse. I've already learned to cope with whatever this is, but I am always so tired. I come home after work and sleep, but was too embarrassed to tell you this. Some days I do things after school, but mostly I don't. It helps me to write all of this out, even though I know you don't read it.
Anyway, have a Happy Thanksgiving!