hello,

welcome to the site

gosh... it does sound you've been through loads- i admire you for hanging on and in sted of taking your life, coming on here to get it off your chest

i'm not going to say things will get better... because honestly?. i've had that said to me so many times- and it never has.

all i can say for now is keep talking to us, when ever you need too.. and i hope that some of us can become really good friends with you- and help you to ease all the pain inside you

hugs