I think Im going back into a really depressing phase again, I just recently got out of one. I was in my bed for 2 days, no one could get me to do anything. Now I feel like it's starting all over again. I dont want to go back to that, but I dont know how to stay out of it. It seems like the more I get mad, the more depressed I get. And I have been getting mad ALOT lately. All my friends keep asking me whats wrong, but I dont know whats wrong. I just feel like crying and never saying another word to anyone. I want to just skip school and lock myself up in my room forever. My family sees that Im feeling low, but they just act like everything is normal. I really need some support from them right now, but they havent given a rats *** about me for 2 years, so Im not expecting to much from them. My therapist is on vacation so I cant talk to him. I just cant take it any more. No one is ever here for me, no one. Not even my friends, every time they need an ear or a shoulder, Im always right there, but no one wants to help me, Im so alone. All these flashbacks and memories are coming back, and I dont know how to cope with them. Some of them are good memories, and I just start crying because I wish I was still that person. And others are just horrible and I cant stand to re-live some of that stuff. I feel like I could go crawl up in a dark hole and no one would even notice that Im gone.
I really dont know what to do.
Thanx for letting me vent.
-Megan-