Dreamscaper,

Your emotions can be shared freely with a T. I understand your fear of being locked up in a psych ward ~ been there! But, you can share virtually anything with a T, and realistically, they cannot lock you up unless they see that you (or someone else) is in pertinent danger if you are to be free.

Taking off your mask in T isn't easy or overnight. It takes some time and trust to slowly let your self-protection barrier down. I've dissociated during T many times (over the past 30 years). In the past few years, I've dissociated a few times or so as we discussed very personal issues. My T has recommended hospitalization twice (in the past few years) when I was REALLY low and fighting strong suicidal urges. Because I went in on my own, I was also allowed to leave when I felt that I had a better perspective towards my illness and felt more prepared to work through the attached emotions.

Getting help when you need it (which is where it sounds like you are to me) is priceless! The intense misery that you hold inside, against yourself, eases when you share the darkness. While your emotions are validated by a good T, they also assure you that they are just emotions ~ not facts! I wish you the best ~ take care...