This is definitely because of the death recently beloved. I too am a person who requires no cheating whatsoever. After my brother died three years ago, I cheated on my husband who I have been with exclusively for eleven years. Everything came to light and we have resolved this issue. Death does something to people. You can survive this if you have it in you beloved. For us, our three children and past relationship were barely enough to scrape up the bits left after the tragedy that wreaked our lives suddenly and unexpectedly. If this is really love, you will scrape the bits up and recreate a relationship from the wreckage left behind. If not, you will at the least walk away with the experience that life has dealt out to you beloved. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Yours truly, Lightbulb7