Quote:
Originally Posted by chanda101
Hi, I'm 40. Feeling worthless, hate myself. Actively destroying a good relationship because I'm a paranoid idiot. Don't know how to stop being paranoid. Being paranoid and jealous are two seperate feelings and hard to explain. Tired of having to explain my stupid self. My brain tells me to drive off cliffs. Yeah. I'm loads of fun.....lol hate being told to stop feeling sorry for myself. If I could I would, duh. Nice to meet others possibly in same boat. :-(
|
I'm 43, and am having the same issues as you. I understand jealous and paranoid are 2 different things, and I too have a habit of destroying my relationships. After some soul-searching, I realized it was because I figure tha person is going to get to know what I'm really like "with the bipolar mood swings and such" and leave me, so my defense is to drive them away before they can leave. That way, I can blame them. But in the process, you might drive away that special person who CAN handle the real you. And I've thought of driving off of cliffs, too,(we have plenty here), but if your luck is like mine, you'll just get hurt real bad, and total out your car!