Thanks ((((OE)))) Rationally, I know these things happen everywhere...and that the prayers were a good thing. I just feel so sad. My child-like mind defaults to wishes and things that aren't realistic...the fairy tale endings, the should be's, the life I dreamt of having and worked toward that never came true. I am reminded of my family members' words:things are better without you, you must have done something to deserve it, if you do what I want, you can have anything, you are going to fail.

My thoughts are totally irrational in context. I realize that. Thank you for the reminder and for accepting my vent...everyone. i know i sound judgmental and ridiculous.

It all makes me want to give up.