Thanks guys its appreciated... I cant really talk about this. My mom and younger brother, dont know any details, the dont want to know, my sister would be a mess if I brought it up (they were super close and she still cant sleep at night) and my friends, the few I have, I think it makes them uncomfortable, and its understandable... So I guess you guys have to put up with me as usual really wish I could just talk this subject dry and not have it bug me again. So many question marks and holes...