I think I've been in denial for a long time about my depression. I've been feeling this way for probably about 2 years and I did know there was something wrong with me and I probably was depressed again, I guess I just didn't want to admit it to myself or anyone else. I think I was just hoping that there wasn't anything wrong with me and I wasn't depressed. I thought I got rid of my depression and I never wanted to feel this way again. I don't want to be depressed. Still, I've been keeping this a secret because I feel so embarrassed which I know is preventing me from getting better.

About three weeks ago, I did end up telling someone a little bit about it. That was literally the first time in my life I ever told someone that I felt sad. I didn't approach her about this, she asked me a question about it and I was honest with her. I guess I felt like I could trust her possibly but now I wish I wasn't so honest. She definitely helped me realize that I am depressed, but lately I've been feeling so much worse than before I said anything. I'm crying nearly every day now, at least once a day. I guess it is better that I recognize my depression than keep trying to deny it, but I wish I had lied to her and said everything was fine, because it's so hard sometimes. I hate how I feel right now. She told me that she would be there for me if I needed her, but I feel embarrassed and anxious when I think about speaking to her again. I already humiliated myself once because I started crying in front of her.

Has anyone ever felt denial about being depressed?