I'm coping, you guys dont have to worry, I'm probly making it worse than it sounds. I'm just tired of losing... Lost a great job, an amazing brother,the greatest dad, love of my life, friends, and other brother (paedo,molested me, I have a no - contact rule)...when do I gain? Last I really gained was when I gave birth to Jordan in 2003... And even tho you guys aren't physically in my real life, you're the best gain after Jordan I'm just a bit drained from always being on the losing end.