My response would be 'Really??? Please look in the mirror and read your email out loud'...

Sorry, but your friends a self-centred biatch and she should be APPRECIATING you and not *****ing at you...

buuuuut, its not my friend, or my life, and I'm the one who's deathly allergic to BS, not you.

Maybe just take a time-out, and try having a talk when you're both calmer...