I am very sorry for your loss.

I agree with purpledaisy that losing you would be extremely stressful and heartbreaking. It's the type of stress some people never recover from. I know, I lost my mom 20 years ago. Just on Saturday my dad was telling me how much he loved her and he needs her to be here now, because she was the strong one. 20 years. So, no, it's not better to be gone.