Icetea, honey, you are putting a lot of mental and emotional energy into this, but your thinking still sounds convoluted to me. I am not condemning you or judging you on this, as I have behaved in the same way....waiting, waiting, thinking my brains out, analyzing and often blaming myself for someone else's bad behavior.
From your descriptions of his words and interactions with you, he is NOT the HERO figure, the knight in shining armor from fairy tales. HE is the one needing to be rescued; the frog you hope will turn into a prince. You are the hero and the rescuer. You are doing all the analyzing and the mental work here, and, hun, he's not worth it.
He may continue to answer your emails (though you say he seems weary of them), dangling his worm on a hook to you, but you would be well to cease contact.
LOve
Patty