my S/o has asked me this every year, and i never know-- i am always grateful for whatever i get even if it is just a card...

but this year...
... can i just be asked to be left alone? i know that may sound depressing but really, i don't want drama from my sister or brother of how horrible their lives are..... and that it is the holidays and boo hoo.... While i can feel and agree to a degree, but i refuse to take such a bleak view, this too shall pass
and i don't want to go be fake with my s/o's family, i am still upset about things, and i am sorry-- it just hurts, and i am not one to so easily just "brush it under the rug" as others.

My S/O is saying this is ok he is not pushing me to do anything.... I just get worried about the other peoples around...

I have been crocheting hats for kids, and this last weekend I gathered some scarfs and neck warmers i made last year too that i just made and hoped to sell that did not, and same with some bears i made.. but i am gonna go donate this all..I don't think it is on anyone's "wish list" but hey, i am sure it will be used some where for some one..

Gifts for people that either have treated me like crap this year, not cared what i have been through and just call due to they have all the issues and i have no problems they say, and people that have used triggers to their advantage and have hurt me and do not want to talk about it even though I Tried so hard to come back and talk to them about it --- sorry-- this year my heart is not being so warm to them all--- strangers are a-ok, strangers that need things, that are worse off than i- and even though financially i struggle (I need new shoes and blah blah) but I am not out on the streets..... so why not give back to them a little...

as always hoping everyone the best.....

I guess another thing or two, i could ask for is to let me work- no furloughs this year please, and to find a therapist that fits into my budget and that cares decently-- not just brush me off due to I appear to be "an active member of society" due to i have a job.....

sorry-- not fun beauflow today on this subject.

I want my own car, Santa can bring me that right

but i hope everyone has a great holiday