I pretend it's my sister by judging everything I do as if she did it. If I do a paper after the first draft I edit and turn in "my sister's paper", "my sister" cleaned my house, "my son" cooked dinner like that.

I know I'm hiding my sadness when I wear make-up. I hide frustration when going after the perfect body. I hide anger and guilt with being the perfect parent / wife. I hide anxiety with over organization. I hide my eating disorder through beauty products, and minimization. I mask all of that with humor. So when I notice, T notices or my husband notices I'm trying to be the perfect __________ I know the general direction to look in. It takes time and a lot of observation.