You know, Icetea, I've been fighting the same battle you are fighting for THIRTY YEARS! Not one single thing is going to change, no matter how hard YOU try or what YOU do! I know from experience!

For thirty years, I've been knocking my head against a brick wall for not paying attention to those "red flags!" So many regrets!! So many "Why didn't I listen????"

If there was ANYTHING at all I could say that was positive, I'd say it, but I can't. Seems to me you want someone, anyone to say, "You can make this work." Guess what? Everybody else sees and knows that you CAN'T. But if you want to try, by all means, go for it! But I can tell you one thing for certain. It won't be long before that knot on your head that you've already got will start bleeding and it will continue to get bigger and bleed worse until it moves to your heart. It will deaden your heart. It will make you cynical about love and men. But if you want to TRY and make it work, by all means! It's YOUR choice, not anyone elses.

Let me reiterate. YOU can't change him. Only HE can and that is IF he wants to and has the courage!