(((((Thanks)))) for recognizing my spiral I'm not proud of it.

And thanks also for your kind words of support.

I don't like writing about it, because I hate to scare people or bring them into my nightmare. It's not fair to them. I hesitated keeping that post up, actually, because it's so horrible. I didn't want to upset anyone further than they already may have been. Assault is bad enough.

But my reaction to what I witnessed was disproportionate to the matter and so I guess that I why I went further ... to connect the dots. I am sorry if I was being selfish. Truly.

We do think these types of things happen to "other people" or in movies. I swear, you just cannot imagine - not in a million years - until it happens IRL to you, and then it's ... there are on words (I blamed myself and didn't talk about it for years because I couldn't understand it).

I am trying really hard to "not to there" now, but my brain is struggling.

I have my affirmations. I keep myself fairly safe. Not as safe as I'd like, but for what I can afford.

I am sorry about your daughter ((((OE)))) and can relate to your fear. I tried to be as supportive as possible before in your previous post(s), short of bringing my mom up (I didn't want for you to have to think about that).

I don't want anyone to have to think about that.