(((Rose))),

I do understand the hesitation about opening up. I did that constantly and when I did open up, things got quiet. Kind of "how could she be seemingly so strong and have had that actually happen? I think that happens alot to be honest. Wanting someone to know how much you really understand their challenge and yet not sure of how to say how much you know.

Then I feel that if I find the courage to say my own "bad things" maybe the other person will not feel so alone with "their challenges". But I do see why you didn't talk about what you experienced because it can confirm how bad a situation can get as well.

I am glad you let it out though Rose, because you need to talk about it. Yes, I can see how much you were triggered. But I also think that you have to still "heal" from that, as you say, you didn't have the ability to do that before. Guilt?, no, that is there but it doesn't belong there Rose. I was so challenged by that myself, it is hard to find your way to letting go of that. But it is so important you "do" let go of it.

Oh, I know how you don't want anyone to think about that, but that is what "real support" is there for Rose. And you also need to "grieve it" too. My T tells me that I will do a lot of that in this stage of my PTSD. And to be honest, I have, and there is nothing "wrong with that". Plus you need someone "there" for you that understands that and will "validate" how you "deserve" to do that. After all Rose, you "are human" after all, we need to be able to "grieve" and be comforted. Oh, I just wish I was there to put my arm around you and tell you, "its ok" you are going to be ok.

You really "are" a good person and such a smart "cookie" too. Hey you are doing really well there, you really are. You just have to have this time in your life where you get a chance to finally address all these things, and to do that with others who actually get the challenge.

Sometimes when something like this happens and it brings out these challenges, it isn't always such a bad thing. You finally have access to other people that "know the challenge and can truely validate you". And you also are older and in a place mentally where you can finally work through it instead of just keeping it burried inside of you.

You know, you have really "gained a lot" since you first came to PC, I have seen you get stronger and stronger. It is "very" important for you to remember that. Is this a challenging event? Oh yes, but you are in a better place mentally where you can finally address it better.

I think you needed to let this out Rose, I think that you will begin to feel better as you work through this, I really do. I know it can be very frustrating when it happens and even more so if no one around you understands how challenging it is. But when someone does get it? It can make all the difference in the world. Only one person just noticing can mean so much.

Aside from some political differences you and I have been good friends, and I do know you need that "the most". That's the biggy, that is what is important, Rose gaining ground and healing right now. A part of you that has strong beliefs also is there too, and that is important too, you got to express that part of yourself, and you do have a lot of strength and vigor as a person. That is all "healthy" too. You can be pretty "strong minded" and thats all good too Rose. And make sure you "remember that" too. You can "hold your ground" lady, good for you. So you have to balance it all out Rose, you are gaining in that.

What you are doing right now? Talking about what happened and your deep response? This is the "after part" Rose that I talk about all the time, this is where you finally get to do the healing instead of the "shoving". You actually "will" slowly feel better with all this now, because you got to let it all out and actually have someone else really get the challenge.

So if you need to talk about it more, you finally have a thread, so do whatever you need. We will all be here to support you Rose.

(((Understanding and caring Hugs))))

Open Eyes