It's Ok Suga!! And ok to feel how you do. I was so scared to go, but when I did,it wasn't really like I imagined. Maybe you can try to look at it like a field trip, you go and find out what they do, how it all works. It could be a really good thing for you I think. And you might walk away in a better place, with more resources.

Doesn't really matter if your friends question the purpose of it. They won't be going there to find out, and when you are doing better you will know the purpose, likely they would see it too. I would also think if you have only taken 3 sick days in 3.5 years.... you need some!! You worked for them, please take them!! You may work yourself right into a non existence, we can only run on empty like that for so long.

If you don't want to tell anyone irl , then you don't have to, you can make something up if it makes less stress for you. You are the one that gets to decide all that.

I just want you to be on your way to wellness. I know you deserve to be. Don't worry about everything else right now, do what you need. I know that's probably hard to do for you, but you need your attention. The other stuff will all carry on for now.