Quote:
Originally Posted by jimi...
The strange thing is that I don't feel inattentive. I think it partially has to do with being on disability, so I'm not forced to the same point as others to work with really boring stuff or try to study things that wont catch my attention.
I miss reading books, something I actually could do in the past. So I'm not sure if that part is inattention or something else.
My main issue seems to be normal everyday functioning. I can't for my life start at a starting point naturally and go through doing something and then complete it. It's impossible. evenUsually I think about a single action days before, and I almost panic when I really have to do it. Because I know how bad it will feel. I'm not sure why simple tasks are so draining for me, but they are, to the point where they scare me. If I really manage to start up a project I can sometimes have a hard time stopping . I had my friend almost physically drag me away from cleaning. I think it is because it is so hard to start, that when I can, I don't want to rest and restart, it is less draining (for the moment), to keep going until I feel it is done, or until I collapse.
Ritalin has helped me some in starting things up. Sometimes I have just started something even just thinking about it a few minutes which is very amazing.
Ritalin changes who I am, so I don't know if it is worth it or not.
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"I can't for my life start at a starting point naturally and go through doing something and then complete it. It's impossible. evenUsually I think about a single action days before, and I almost panic when I really have to do it. Because I know how bad it will feel. I'm not sure why simple tasks are so draining for me, but they are, to the point where they scare me. If I really manage to start up a project I can sometimes have a hard time stopping ."
... Not sure if this will help you any but just knowing /realizing it has helped me. .. I have read that the not being able to start things and not being able to stop once you get going on things is very common for ADD suffers. If I remember correctly I read that we have times where we just cannot focus and other times where we are "hyper-focused".
In the past, prior to my diagnosis, and marriage and kids, when my schedule was more my own, I was aware that there were times that I could really be on a roll and get things done / completed, and other times that I just couldn't do boring things like paperwork or dry reading and I learned to go with it. If I was on a roll and getting things done I just kept on going regardless of weather or not I had originally planned to be doing something else or needed to get to bed or what not. I felt I was better off taking advantage of the time that I was effectively getting things done and "make up" the other stuff and in the times that I just couldn't do the tedious, focus requiring stuff I would do repetative, physical work, or chores that I enjoyed more.