I spend time here and there studying and learning about the human brain. We are really learning a lot more about "the human brain" now and it is facinating.

I believe that given the fact that we are all born with a clean slate in our subconscious mind we actually take a lot of messages from our childhoods that build our subconscious mind that becomes or source for "problem solving" throughout our lives. Many of the responses we have come from deep within the subconscious and we "think" that is "just who we are". However if we lack in "nurturing" and we don't get positive messages in our childhoods either by "seeing good problem solving by our parents" as well as being praised and "encouraged by them" we don't have those strong messages in our subconscious minds. When that happens and we face challenges we can "self blame" and "sense we are incapable" somehow and can be challenged more when we struggle with "bad interactions" from others.

I feel that if someone then experiences a tramatic event, they can end up struggling with PTSD and be "more challenged" in how they learn to "overcome" PTSD.

For me personally, when I had experienced the situation where I suddenly faced many of my loved animals being badly damaged. The first thing that happened to me was I went into "hypervigilance" and I stayed in that state of mind for months because I had to address these damages for months. When my I lost my favorite pony inspite of over a month's effort to have her on IV's and the rest of my efforts to rehabilitate her, pretty much around the clock, plus see to others at the same time, I finally "broke". So my ability to maintain that state of hypervigilance just gave out.

After that I began to experience night terrors and flashbacks, but only of that event and all the damages I saw. Then I went through a depression period where I was just dull and dreary. And then I was constantly dealing and struggling with the Lawsuit and my difficult attorney. Then I began to experience flashbacks from my childhood and that just threw me into confusion. I think that happened because I have been trapped in this lawsuit and that is bringing back my childhood challenges.
I feel that I would have done much better and not be this bad had the initial trama been resolved faster.

I have a feeling that if you had been able to "regain your life" quicker that you would not be as challenged as you are today as well.

Do you have childhood flashbacks? Or do you feel that most of your challenge is that you feel you have just been pushed around too much for too long?

Just curious.

Open Eyes