((((((((((( tigerlily )))))))))) no, but you might be able to come to a point within yourself where you hear their criticism / sniping / abuse and say (even to yourself, but maybe one day to them too) NO; that's not me; you are trying to put that on me (again) and I do not accept it.

and then you step out into the sunshine!!!! instead of cringing from their onslaught. I can only speak from my own viewpoint; not saying that I am there yet myself, yet I know that that kind of healing is possible.