Depression has ruined my life. I tried to reach out to family and friends and explain to them why i was withdrawing and the fact that i can't have conversation with anyone and i don't want to talk about my miserable life so that is why i don't call or answer the phone. Some people didn't even respond at all and a few just said that they were depressed too but they still have to go to work and take care of kids and blah blah blah. Basically making me feel like a wimp for letting it take me over. I had a breakdown basically and even now my therapist is trying to talk me into being hospitalized and i refuse. But losing everyone when you are in such emotional pain is just unbearable. I live with my bf but he is not supportive he doesn't want to talk about any problems and doesn't want to hear me talk about my feelings. I have my T. once a week when she is available and that is it. I feel for you and all i can say is just reach out to people who are going through the same thing like people on this site. You can try a group in your area for depressed people. I tried that and it didn't do much for me but it may for you. I wish you all the best. And yes i too hate holidays. I am having a hard time with it and without support it just makes it that much harder. Prayers to you and everyone going thru this.