Well, the old adage about where there is smoke, there is fire is kind of true in my case. Although I chose to believe my boyfriend about how much he is in touch with an ex-girlfriend who lives overseas, I just found out that he was lying about some stuff that he'd told me.

The lies are about stuff that happened before we even met and don't really have anything to do with me, but they do concern this ex-girlfriend. They are things he could have told me up front that would not have bothered me too much. But, now that I find he's lied about them, all I can do is wonder what else he'd lied about. My stomach is a mess and I feel like there is now a huge wall up between us. Because he didn't cheat or anything like that, and the lies don't have anything to do with me, he thinks that I should just move on from it. We had a big fight concerning the lying, but he's been acting totally normal since then. Inside though, I feel really disappointed.

He said he lied because he knew that I'd get upset. I'm just not like that...even if I might upset someone, I tell the truth when asked a direct question. I do not volunteer hurtful information if not asked but, when asked, I tell the truth.

He told me that they had broken up when she moved from the States back to Europe and didn't speak much after that. In actuality, they had a vacation together a few months after they broke up (he met up with her in Europe as part of a bigger trip to see family also overseas). Although they stayed in touch after the vacation, he says it was the last time he's seen her. This was three years ago and the summer before we started dating. So, this all happened before he and I ever even met. But, I had asked him point blank if they were in touch after the break up and if she'd been the girl he'd gone to Spain with. He said no to both and indicated that the trip had been with someone else.

He also admitted that, more recently (this summer), she'd asked him to be a referral for a job she was applying for (still overseas) so they'd spoken about that and he provided her with the referral.

None of this would have upset me that much if he'd just been up front since they have nothing to do with me. As I've said in prior posts, I'm in touch with many ex-boyfriends and would definitely help them with job stuff. Even the fact that they were still kind of seeing each other after they broke up has nothing to do with me since we were not dating at that point. And many people continue to "hang out" after a break up if they're not with other people. He could have been honest.

It's just all the lies. Was he simply trying to avoid a fight (he is very confrontation averse) or can I expect more significant stuff to come out of the woodwork?