I cannot tell them how I feel also because it wont matter. My feelings, thoughts have been put down and invalidated by them for 35 years. Why think they'd change now. So as usual, I have to not say anything. Esp now...my brother threatened me a few years ago that if I bring up my feelings ever again or talk about the situation...he would never speak with me or help me again. And he would sue me for the money he has given me to help me eat and pay my rent (after my F died).