Since you said in the OP you were really looking for support or solutions......I'm wondering if I overstepped by trying to stir something with my post. That's why I said I'll ask but you don't have to respond. I tend to be a solution type person and when I see a person needs help or feel I can help in some way, I can't resist. Thats what I do in the Q&A section. Plus there are times when I feel the same frustration with life, but I'm determined to fight through it. Hope it gets better and hope something switches to give you energy for life.