Congrats on not having had a panic attack in 3 weeks. That has got to feel awesome.

I can understand the anxiety about not feeling anxiety. I have my first pdoc appt in a few weeks. I can't imagine myself not anxious. I get kind of giddy on Ativan. Not because of the drug, but because it feels so weird to be NOT anxious.

I'd imagine it's quite a big adjustment & it takes time to get used to these things. I hope you find a way to enjoy it.