So what are you avoiding about your real, present-day, intimate, immediate life that you choose to neglect it? Kind of sound like you have a hyperfocus on "the world" - something you have absolutely no control over - when in reality, our happiness, our hopes, our dreams are truly related to our immediate life which you really DO have some control over (but maybe you are feeling like you have no control, or you don't want to make the tough decisions in real life so you neglect yourself that way?) Just throwing ideas out there to stew on.