(((SAWE))) - thanks for asking!

I just got back from the hematologist. They took blood, and lots of it! I feel drained literally I guess, and am nauseated. The guy taking my blood did a really good job, he said, "See, it wasn't so bad? I have a gift. You're welcome, lolol. So, I then said thank you He said, whoa, the nonverbal language, I can tell you weren't looking forward to this I'm not to bad about getting blood taken, but I still had a bruise where I had it taken days ago. Anyway.

I left the hematologist feeling like I didn't communicate well, and was frustrated. She told me she would see me in 2-3 weeks and would call if something was wrong. I asked when she would call me (because I wanted to know a timeline) because I would be stressed about it. She said, okay you can come back in 10 days then. I reiterated that I just wanted to know, so she said 10 days. I don't want to go back in 10 days if I don't need to, I just wanted maybe her to call me either way when the results came in. I can't explain it, but I didn't feel like she undersood what I was saying. I guess I am used to my PCP, who understands, and so does her nurse. So, I ended up getting an appt. in I guess 3 weeks because she was booked. If my bloodwork is okay, I really don't care.

Now, last night I was worried something was really wrong. I am now worried that nothing will show up in the bloodwork, thus making it a psychological issue. I KNOW that something isn't right with me, I will say that it might be psychosomatic, resulting from stress, but that means that even though it starts in the brain, when cortisol is released, it has a negative effect physically. I'm actually afraid that nothing will be wrong. I feel like I have a low grade flu on and off, my top half of my brain feels like all of the neural pathways are blocked. It feels like I have a steel, too small hat on. I want to feel better, and I need to find out what is wrong. If my results come back perfect, I am going to feel lost.

I see my Pdoc soon. I will talk to her about this. I feel like my amygdala has no off switch. I'm not freaking out, just kind of over it all. Thanks for letting me vent.