Can you get help for these issues? The physical and emotional abuse? I think there was also infidelity issues?

I would give her space and respect her boundaries at this point. Focus on working on the things that need attention, even if you two were not to get back together, you would not probably want to carry these into other relationships.

Perhaps if you are having a hard time seeing these things to the full extent, try to put yourself in the others place. I am saying this because of the thread when she was hospitalized, and I sensed a lack of empathy... I am sorry, I don't know how to say it, but it seemed like it was more about you than her in her time of need. I am not judging you with this statement.. so please I really mean no harm.. merely an observation of something you may have not thought about.

Do you have a therapist? Or somewhere to get help, and support in all this?

I know this is a hard time, I am sorry it took this turn for you both, but perhaps it can become a healing time for you both.