Buried brother today and preacher said a lot of things that made sense. Like how there's no pain on the other side among other things that made me feel like suicide was ok. It may hurt family at first but eventually they'll just remember the good times. If we're in so much pain here why couldn't they understand that? You see my brother died of liver cancer and was loosing blood fast. The Drs were trying to keep up with the blood loss by pumping more into him to the point it was coming out his mouth. It was painful to watch but a relief when he was gone. Sometimes I feel like my brother lying in that bed and just want the pain to end. I wish people could actually SEE the pain. If they could see it I think they would want the pain to stop for us too and be relieved for us.

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