This may not apply, but after being in an emotionally/physically abusive relationship, I cant stand the words 'I'm sorry' from someone who hurts me. Its actually quite triggery as it gets my back up the wall pretty fast. I prefer remorse to be shown via actions not words, as 'I'm sorry' means ABSOLUTELY nothing to me. Have nothing new to add, the rest has already been spoken.So yeah,just thought that may help if your wife doesnt respond to apologies.I commend you for reaching out,that took alot of courage .