Not thinkin' what you are describing is "stable". You DO have a son who, I'm sorry, but you DO have to factor him into the equation. Until he is out of the house, his well-being has to come into play, and stability and sanity in his parents IS what he needs, particularly since he fights his own issues. Choosing instability and insanity just doesn't seem like a great parenting decision much less a sound personal decision. Slow down, get some space from your family if that is what is setting you off, and take the responsible road. Yes, sometimes making responsible decisions feels boring, but that's the way life is sometimes.