I really wanted to call you every day this week so far. But I really didn't want to bother you on your week off. I've been so worried about this "holiday", it's all that swarms my mind whenever distraction fails. I wish I didn't have to wait another week just to see you again, but I know that when I do I'll feel better and I'll get some things off my chest that have bothered me all week. Thank you for being here for me. I know you encourage me to call whenever I want or feel the need to. But I can't help the nagging thought in the back of my mind that I might bother you if I call. So for now I stick to just emailing, which you can check on your own time.

I really tried to listen to your suggestions on how to calm down during the drive. But I'm sorry. It didn't work that well. Repeating to myself 'He's a safe driver, I'm alright. We've never been in a crash before, we're alright', etc, just didn't help the overwhelming panic that flooded me every time we had to weave in and out of traffic, or speed up to pass a car, etc. Why are some of the most mundane things so difficult for me to process and cope with? Why why why? :s