So he took me to the apartment that he shares with his adult daughter and her Victoria Secret bag in the bathroom gave me an idea. I know this is ultra-conservative compared to beginner BDSM or high-tech hardware, but, I do not know him well enough, I do NEED underwear, I am afraid that hardware might not work - who knows, and if it doesn't, it would be a disappointment - and with regards to BDSM I am just too shy and unsure of myself. But I have read through all ideas carefully, including the licorice idea, and hopefully will one day incorporate them into the play, just without the deadline of the fast approaching birthday. So, thanks very much to everyone who responded!! Your ideas are great.