Yes--"how you came to be/see/experience" rings true for me, too. And "getting over" an experience has always seemed an impossibility to me. How could I "get over" any experience that is part of me in a formative way without "collateral damage?" My total life experiences are enmeshed and interwoven, good and bad. And good not only comes from good, and bad from bad.

It is astoundingly difficult to embrace and respect what is felt as painful and hated, but I believe the greatest healing comes when we do just that. Therapy for me was the felt experience of receiving such an embrace, until I could internalize it for myself. It's an honoring of self and other.