@sunrise: Oh I definitely need a new job. I really don't like it, but I'm grateful to have it. My job is a big anxiety trigger for me, and I've had to reduce my hrs due to panic attacks and frequent bouts of depression. I'm working on it. And getting out of this house is my goal. I am very afraid of living by myself though, so I'll have to see about living with other people. Thank you for your kind words, and also for the book recommendation. I have no boundaries at all, none.

@Miswimmy: You're right, this is all I know so it just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm so sorry you're going through that. Right now it just feels like a big open wound that I had buried a long time ago.

@Sannah: Sunrise mentioned being a doormat. And that is me. Talking about it feels wrong though. Like I'm betraying them somehow. I still want to protect them. I know that they care about me. But they'll start off with their comments, and name calling and it just cuts at me. I am just so sensitive lately, it seems.