Quote:
Originally Posted by Maven
I've always had this issue, but never thought about sharing it until now. I haven't had sex in a really long time, but I still have this thing about my nipples (just thinking about it makes me queasy). I can't stand someone else touching my nipples. I feel queasy touching my own nipples, but I did learn a way to work my way to an orgasm; it's just hard putting aside those queasy thoughts and sensations.
Even if a guy is doing everything right, once he goes for my nipples (hands, fingers, mouth, teeth, whatever), I kind of freeze up. I have never told anyone this; I just gritted my teeth and pretended I liked it, even though in reality, I wanted him to stop immediately. It just makes me feel nauseous. I feel like I'm "supposed" to like it, and I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings, so I just play on, praying that I don't actually throw up (so far, so good). But I get turned off right away.
I know part of why I don't say anything is because, despite all the advice to not do anything you don't want to do, many guys will dismiss you altogether if you don't do certain acts.
Does anyone else feel this kind of sensitivity when it comes to action on your nipples? (Males welcome to answer, too.)
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Hey, I know that feel. Playing with my nipples myself, I feel nothing except maybe goosebumps. But when a guy touches my breasts, I have to restrain myself from jerking and shouting out. It's not necessarily because I don't want them to, because I do fantasize about it, but my breasts are hypersensitive to the touch, more so than the clitoris.
I do put my foot down about a guy reaching his hand under my bra. That sensation is so horrible that I tell the guy he can touch me there AFTER he takes my bra off, which of course, he certainly does not mind. I don't know why, I believe it's because the first time someone reached under my bra it was a stranger at a LGBT party and I did not want her to. Maybe. But that sensation is aggravating.
Do you have small breasts? Small breasts can be extremely sensitive because the nerves are so close to the skin.
You realize that even though you aren't saying no, you are giving consent to him by not saying anything. This must stop and you know it. All you have to say is "I'm very sensitive, please don't touch me there. Instead, you can do [insert whatever *you'd* like him to do instead]. There's no need to force yourself to do something you want to do, and any reasonable guy will understand that you don't want to be touched that way. You don't have to explain anything, just say you have never liked the way it feels. This is something you should bring up to your therapist, but you're certainly not alone.