Well, I'd tell you that if is porn usage makes you insecure, he should stop. I feel like porn in a relationship is something that needs to be comfortable for both partners. I also find is assertion that he "will never change" is stubborn and inconsiderate, given what you're asking of him.

On the other hand, I do think Leed gave good advice on the whole. Try talking to him about it and seeing if some sort of compromise is obtainable. If he INSISTS on doing this, he should at least have the courtesy to not do it in a manner that upsets you, as best he can (if that makes sense).

And no...all men are not like this. I don't mean to offer myself as some sort of male paragon (far from it, trust me), but I view porn fairly frequently, but only when I'm single. Most guys I know, myself included, delete/quit it once they enter a relationship. For me, I find it almost disloyal to my partner. However, do bear in mind that is only my view of it. He may not share that view, and thus doesn't understand how his behavior affects you at all.

And Hamster, I think Torani's argument isn't rooted in that she feels sexually unwanted as much as she may be feeling like his sexual "second choice." He is getting aroused by the porn, yet satisfying himself with Torani. That, I believe, is the problem she cites when mentioning that. Please correct me if I am mistaken in my assessment, Torani.

I wish you both my best Torani, and I hope you are able to find a compromise with this.

My best,
Harley