One day at a time, you're absolutely right. I've never met anyone who didn't struggle at first. What you're going through is the hardest time in our lives, in my opinion. But my worst day sober was never as bad as my best day drinking/using, in one way or another. You're on a bright and beautiful road, with bumps and potholes in it right now. But as you go it will get smoother, the bumps will be fewer and farer between. You doing everything right, going to meetings and talking to your sponsor. Congrats to you! And you made it through your first holiday sober! Please feel free to PM me anytime, and keep posting here to get more strength and experience. I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

Rayna