Several people have posted here recently about their mothers and some really bad behaviors. I too have to battle the negative aspects of my relationship with my mother....I think the mother's voice is instilled in us from the womb onward.
There are those fortunate people whose mother's voice is calm, loving and encouraging. Then there are the folks like me an others here. At some point, one must DETACH! from it!!!!
I have parented myself for several years now, having been a mother myself and raised my daughter totally differently than I was raised. I WAS an encouraging, calming and loveing mother despite my own upbringing example.
I was never held or cuddled, told I was loved and valued, never allowed a voice. At some point, we, as adults must achieve our own voice. This may mean reframing and reparenting ourselves. I do it often with the thousands of move clips in my head of dreadful experiences. I remember how I felt and comfort the child who was there (as I am there with her).
I hope this will help some of you (and me) to remember we can gain our detachment, our voice, and our independence from bad experiences.
Healing thoughts,
Patty