Why did I push myself so much today? I was kinda hangin on to the hope of getting a reply from you but I can't expect that on a holiday, that'd be rude. I think tonight will be another little to no sleep night... Not to mention I'm feeling extremely overloaded and in pain from that trip. Black Friday sales are not for me. I shut down in the store trying to get something for bob. I dealt with anxiety ridden situations and conversations all evening with strangers in line. Not being able to tell when people are serious or joking is hard. Being around smokers all night was hard. And it's hard to not feel depressed and jealous when all 3 people I'm with got electronics and stuff for black Friday. And I couldn't even afford the smallest thing I wanted. it would have been just 40$ but I had no money.

So I'm the outcast. Again. I always feel left out even among friends. How do I not feel like this? I can only fake a smile for so long.