Dear FM,

Thanksgiving was good. We spent time with friends and their family and friends. The food was delicious, and the friends were comfortable. I hope the holiday went swimmingly for all of you.

Have not gotten the lawyer stuff finished...ahh started. I made that pact that I would, I think there is time before I see you today. Why is it so hard to go after what is rightfully my kiddo's? It has kept me more depended on FOO for all the luxuries., including therapy, since you don't take insurance. I know the man is suppose to reimburse me 50%, but it's easier just to forget he could be a source for anything and pretend he doesn't exist. Also, no increase in payments in 14 years as his income doubled. My craziness says if I don't annoy him after 16 plus years he will finally want to play daddy. You ask what the reality is after all these years? I keep hoping. I think every child needs to happy parents. I wanted the perfect family for my kid and his sister. I feel I blew it for both, but if I sit tightly he will at least acknowledge my kid. I know it's a pipe dream, and I need to stop and just let the court decide what is right and not let him off the hook. I am going to try to remember to bring the papers to your office today, and maybe look at them together.

Gah! I don't want to deal with this stuff...him. This is the happy season. I'm really happy. Can't I put it away till next year?