edward it is very hard to love yourself when you have always hated yourself I am the same but im currently in a DBT programe and the 1st step is just to like things about yourself ,break it down I bet you have done good things for others and I bet others love you so try focus on what other's see not what you see until you can at least like yourself but again I know its easier said than done .sending you best wishes and hugsssssssss