I had a weigh-in with my PCP this morning and I lost wt since I saw her a month ago. Even though she wasn't happy with me, I was SO excited that I lost weight. And this is irrational, but part of me wants to lose more wt before my next weigh-in. I was against being weighed for the longest time because I tend to get into this cycle - if I lose, I feel the need to lose more for the next apt. But my therapist really pushed me to see my PCP for weigh-ins because I haven't been doing too well eating-wise.

I know part of my desire to lose wt before my next weigh-in is my fear that my PCP will think everything is fine if I gain wt (like she wants me to). Ugh, I hate having this constant battle in my head - I hate being so ambivalent about giving up the ED.