I'd like to bump this thread again because I'm still stuck on this one...

REBOOTING...*da dada daaa* OLD THREAD

I've never been with someone that I felt right to have sex with. I may be putting myself at too high standards as to how I'd like to lose my virginity:

*I'd like 100% privacy where no parent or sibling could interrupt us. This means I'd either have to go to his house if his parents aren't home, rent a hotel (does that count as paying for sex?), or I'd have to wait until my parents go away for the weekend which isn't often AND convince my brother to get out of the house.

*I'd like a full body wax...because I don't shave on a regular basis and don't want him to have sex with a wooly mammoth. (And, as a feminist and a lover of smooth skin...I'd ask him to shave his legs and manly parts).

*I'd like to be in LOVE! I have been/considering situations where sex is legitimately possible, but I say no. The first was with a beautiful woman I had a crush on, but she was drunk and I wasn't comfortable having sex with one of us under the influence. Now there is a guy who is into the same fetishes as me, respectful, and like a best friend, but I feel no sexual attraction. As much as I crave sex sometimes, it doesn't feel right to have sex without any attraction to the person.

I also have a fear of sex. I've never been abused as far as I know, but sex scares me. As much as I fantasize about shower sex, the thought of being naked with a man scares me because I'd be vulnerable. It was a big deal to sleep over with a guy for the first time in the same bed...it was scary! Many doctors and psychiatrists have asked me if I've been raped and it freaks me out, surely I'm not the only person man or woman who's scared of sex? Perhaps I am so demanding of how I want sex because I imagine it to turn out so horribly, and I worry I'll be raped before having a chance to have my first time.

Okay, rant over. Back to OP. If I don't have to be in love to have sex, why don't I just have sex with whoever I feel like having sex with? But I don't feel like having sex with just anybody. It doesn't feel right to have sex without being in love, but so many other people have sex with tons of people without caring about being in love, why can't I?