I broke the cycle as well. I'm not sure what you mean by detachment Patty.

I know for me, I worked at resolving things with my Mom, but it's a two way street, and only one of us was on the road. I haven't spoken with my mother in over two years now. I came to a point where the boundaries had been breeched for the final time, and was tired of the whole riga-ma-roll. I still have memories of things my mother did to me as a child. Things she even said to me the last few times we spoke. However, I have come to realize my Mom has a lot of her own personal issues. It's not to excuse her behavior, or the things that were constantly done to me as a child. It just gives me a better understanding of the circumstance, and person I am dealing with. Unbeknownst to my mother I forgave her for all of this. Still just the same, I don't want a relationship with her, because I know the putdowns and crude stuff would continue. It's sad. I have such an incredibly loving and caring, and close relationship with my daughter it sometimes hurts because I don't have that with Mom. Perhaps she's just not capable??? I don't know.

I guess each of us here are pretty lucky that we wanted a change and implemented that, and have been successful in doing so. Kudos ladies for making our children and grandchildrens futures a better place.

Hugs, Lisa