Well, it takes a lot for me to label anyone a "freak." You don't meet the criteria.

You mentioned you're reenacting what was done to you to the doll, correct? It sounds to me that the doll is serving as an outlet for what you're feeling regarding the abuse, and that it provides comfort. I think there are more healthy coping mechanisms available to you, but on the whole, I don't think this is something that makes you a "freak."

Are you seeing a therapist for your abuse?