You may have answered your own question when you said that you would like to be in love. That would be nice for you and I would be happy for you if you did find that special someone. I think that each person has a different comfort level around sex and as long as you are staying true to yourself, I think you will know if it feels right. I don't think it is unusual to be afraid of sex - this does not necessarily mean you were abused. I am a survivor of abuse and my fear of sex stemmed from that, but this is certainly not the case for everyone. I would need to really care for/love the person I had sex with - partly due to what I feel comfortable with as well as my trauma issues. Stay true to what you want and what you feel is best for you...